Words that spew...

I was camping in Taizé, spending my days worshipping and praying.  My nights sleeping in a tent.  All my worldly possessions contained in a back pack.  Every night I would wash the shirt I wore for the day and let it dry and wear the next one.

Taizé is a community of thousands of young people.  Some come in groups, some come as individuals, some are older, some are younger.

I washed my precious T-Shirt and had my only other one on when a wild group of Italian teenagers threw water at me - I was in the line of fire during their game.  Before I could catch hold of my words they burst out: "You stupid wops!"

Wop was a word I had heard from my grandfather.  And all I knew about it was it was a derogatory term used during the war and I shouldn't use it to talk about people.  In that moment of anger, frustration, primal rage - my mind looked for the meanest thing to say and threw it out of my mouth.

They were too busy playing their game to notice what I had said in a language they didn't understand.  But it shocked me that I could say such a thing - having spent so much time praying, worshiping, studying the Bible  - and doing all those holy things we love to do.

Jesus warns us:

"But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean.’"
- Matthew 15:18

He then describes these things as 'coming out of the heart'.

These surprise utterances that we write, that we say, that we do - in our moments of anger.  The mean things that we call those closest to us, or those driving past in a car who can't hear us reveal something about us.

Its like dishing up out of a pot that you know has been burnt at the bottom.  You don't want to scrape up the burnt food so you dip gently.  But in a moment of anger you scratch the bottom and bring out the worst and throw it out on the plate for everyone to see.

There is something ugly going on in our hearts.  Deep down in the darkest places - an inner ugliness that comes up when we're at our worst.

I don't think anyone is immune to this ugliness.

What should we do when people put that ugliness out on facebook / twitter / radio / tv / public / election rallying...

Should we all point and laugh like we were innocent.
Shall we condemn them to prison.
Shall we use their failure to benefit our selves?

Grace has a way of taking the burnt bitterness at the bottom of the pot and cleansing it.

I kept thinking during the whole Penny Sparrow debacle that Madiba probably would have flown to her house and had a long chat with her to help her understand the foolishness of her thinking and her words.  It would have been a hand of grace and an opportunity for heart searching, cleansing and reconciling.

And how many times do we have to do things the Madiba way?  How many times must the reconciliation way trump our desire to point out the sins of others?  I think Jesus has some ideas.

Instead of responding with vitriol and attempts at shaming and bullying perhaps there needs to be a grace filled response.  A wise mother or father who would call one aside and say yes, but no.  Or maybe we all just need to recognize the stupid things that young people do and say and know that we are not immune.

The more we look at each other.  The more we live in the public spheres of twitter and facebook.  The more chances we will have of seeing each others worst ugliness.

The more we need to offer - and graciously receive a hand of grace.

The alternative will be too costly to contemplate.

Church - What do I get?

We were talking about tithing - about giving money to the church.  Quite a lot of money in fact.  I have a few opinions about this.  I think the church's teaching on tithing is quite manipulative at times.  I think Jesus wants you more than your money.  But I do think that church members should contribute proportionally to the life and ministry of the church.

I find it amazing how the poorest of the poor struggle to put coins together to give their portion.  And interesting to see how the wealthiest find ways and means to justify giving without much commitment - and when they give - to give with strings attached.

But now I'm being judgmental.

Like I said - we were talking about tithing - and the question was asked: "What do I get?"

I have to bite my tongue to keep myself from saying:  "You get to come and die."

But it made me think about the temptation to answer the question: "What do I get?"  I would love to promise you an air conditioned sanctuary; padded seats - and professional musicians to give you what you want.  But that is not what is on offer.

What is on offer - is the opportunity to die to yourself and become part of something bigger.

When a friend of mine was talking about the decision not to have children I was struck by how much I thought I should encourage him to have children.  As we discussed the options I found myself saying that having kids has taught me to live outside of myself.  (I don't know if I convinced my friend to have children - but he now has two.)  But one thing I want people to know is that tithing is the opportunity to give.  And not to get.

What you do get (I hope) is a robust community dedicated to discipleship.  Resourced to minister the truth of the gospel to both the wealthy and the poor.  Resourced to co-ordinate the care of orphans; training of ministers and teachers, the building of hospitals.  Resourced to communicate the good news of the Kingdom of God and all that that entails.

All of these things that you get are not for you.  They are for God.

Super Confident Christians - Do not be afraid of them...

You may say to yourself, “How can we recognize a word that the LORD has not spoken?” If a prophet speaks in the name of the LORD but the thing does not take place or prove true, it is a word that the LORD has not spoken. The prophet has spoken it presumptuously; do not be frightened by it.
- Deuteronomy 18:21-22 (NRSV)

Just before this verse Deuteronomy warns that false prophets; or prophets who 'presume to speak in my name a word that I have not commanded' (Deuteronomy 18:20) 'shall die.'

Whenever we speak of God I think we should whisper / cover our mouths in humility; it is a dangerous thing to stand up and say: "Thus says the Lord..."

If I feel 'led' this way or that; if I pray and agonize all night about the message I should preach on Sunday because I know not everyone will like it; and feel 1000% convinced that this is of God.  When the the conviction / the fire in my bones (Jer 20:9) is so strong it bursts in me; I still never stand up and say:  "God has laid it on my heart to tell you this..."

I won't tell you how much I've prayed, I won't tell you how I have sweated over what it is I have to say.  I believe that if what I have to say is from God; then it will be the job of the Holy Spirit to say yes in you.  And I want you to know that sometimes I don't pray or prepare as much as I should - just in case you start to think that everything I say comes from the same place of conviction.

In fact - whenever someone starts with: "The Lord told me..." or "God has laid it on my heart to tell you..."  I shut down.  I worry about the person speaking; are you going to implicate yourself in blasphemy?  Rather - humbly say:  Do you think God is telling us to do...  Does that resonate with you and the Holy Spirit? 

Even the council of apostles in Acts when confronted with a difficult and delicate Theological and church polity problem - after debate and discernment on the highest level simply responded with the words:  "It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us..." Such a humble way for such authoritative people to speak.  A way that offers you the chance to say in your heart - does this seem good to the Holy Spirit and to me.  Resonance.

Jesus warns us: "For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and produce great sings and omens, to lead astray, if possible, even the elect.  Take note, I have told you beforehand..."
- Matthew 24:24

Too often we think that this is all about people who come along and pretend to be Jesus; we'd see through that one straight away (although some people fall for the trick). False prophets are subtle; everything they say sounds Biblical; sounds orthodox - they encourage you not to think too much about what they are saying, if you correct  them they tell you that you are judgmental or you lack faith. 

They never stand up and say Jesus is a monkey from Mars and you need to drink this cool-aid.  They start by saying:  The reason you don't have healing is that you haven't yet caught the tail of Jesus. Your church hasn't told you about the tail because they are afraid of its power... (They actually tell more believable and credible sounding stories but I liked the monkey example.)

The worry about the false prophets is that they target the kindest, sweetest, most innocent and lovely people.  They promise a gospel that solves all the problems of the world with miracle cures and the kindest people wish that there hopeful stories were true.  But the gospel is not the answer to our wishful dreams - the gospel calls us to the tough task of faithful, life sacrificing discipleship.

The worst example is the miracle healing crusaders that take up lots of cash to fly around in aeroplanes and some even charge money for you to go to miracle school.  Normal - less spectacular 'honest to God' Christianity arrives in impoverished places; establishes schools, send graduates to varsity, establish hospitals and teaching hospitals... and miracles happen.

So - don't be afraid of those who speak to confidently about all the stuff they think God told them - and all the stuff they think God is doing; but they can't prove it.

Ask the questions.
Dissect the answers.
And if the answers are simply deflections or a call to 'just have faith'.  Remind them that faith in Jesus is faith in a physically real - incarnational God.  And not a case for 'just have faith'.

Worship Practice

Brett Fish Anderson wrote a helpful reflection on his experience of worship at the Passion Conference 2016.  I thought it was well balanced, and critical of the worshiptainment phenomenon.  Check it out here: http://brettfish.co.za/2016/02/14/the-passion-of-the-chris/

Obnoxious to my nostrils (Isaiah 65:1-5) 

I don't think I could have gone to the show - I think it would have been 'obnoxious to my nostrils' (Isaiah 65:1-5).  Now funny smells are interesting things - apparently my feet stink (sometimes) but the stink creeps in gently throughout the day and by the end of the day I'm used to the smell so I do nothing about it. So to begin - I shouldn't go around telling other people that their feet stink when mine do too.  But - critical conversation is key to authentic Christianity:

"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. "
- Colossians 2:8

It might not stink to you - you're used to the smell.  So if we point out smell stuff to each other - we might all end up going in the right direction.

Isaiah's tirade in Isaiah 65:1-5 is about idolatry and superstition.  God has said (gracefully and preveniently):

"'Here am I, here am I.'  All day long I have held out my hands to an obstinate people, who walk in ways not good, pursuing their own imaginations -" - Isaiah 65:1-2

This is the problem - God has revealed himself very clearly, simply, perfectly and beautifully in the person and work of Jesus.  You don't need to go looking.  You don't need a new and special revelation.  You don't need a new anointing or impartation - you just need open eyes.  Jesus says 'Here I am'.  All you need is the simple word of the gospel.  No laser lights or gimmicks.  No going out into the wilderness to find him - or in the secret rooms - as obvious as lightening across the heavens. (Matthew 24:24-26)

Jesus is raw.  Jesus is obvious.  Jesus is pure.  Jesus is a little bit complicated.  Jesus makes us uncomfortable.  Jesus obviously and directly calls us to love all our neighbours - even the foreign ones.  He directly threatens the rich man with hell for not tending to the beggar at his gate (Luke 16:19-31).  He calls those who serve the poor 'sheep' (promises them heaven) and those who ignore them 'goats' (promises them punishment) (Matthew 25:31-46).

There is no need for imagination when it comes to Jesus.  Unless he makes you uncomfortable.  In which case - a bit of imagination will be necessary - you will have to re-imagine Jesus in your own image.  According to your likeness.  I have to confess that I am guilty of often doing the same.  But God says:

“This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!” - Matthew 17:5
 We're meant to listen to Jesus.  But instead we listen to our 'opinion' of him.  Or we latch on to this or that pastor's opinion.  We invent a new God; a watered down God.  An entertaining God.  A crowd pleasing God.  An easy God.  We sing easy songs that seldom mention our 'wretchedness' we pretend that we have no sin.  We end up imagining a Jesus who does not judge us - who only loves us.

Our vision of the Kingdom of God is more about getting to heaven than it is about heaven on Earth.  We try to live our lives on a diet of donuts, pizza and coke; we live on a sugar buzz - but we don't want to eat our vegetables - especially at church on Sunday morning.

And so we end up with worship that has little to do with Jesus - although we often mention his name; but only on our terms.  "My Jesus, my saviour..."  We want songs that make us happy.  Jumpy, joyful songs about all that Jesus can do for you.

Worship is Worship Practice (Revelation 7:9-12)

John's experience of heaven in Revelation 7 helps Christians to see how things really should be (on earth as it is in heaven).  Gathering together in church.  Taking communion together. Is a 'foretaste of the divine heavenly banquet'.  Worship is a chance for us to practice being together in a community of diverse people.  Worship is a chance to practice justice among this diverse bunch of people - of different financial and social status.  Of different colour skin.  Of different language.  You might as well get used to it - because that is the way God is leading us.

So, on Earth we mimic heaven.

I remember a profound heavenly worship moment.  As a teenager I joined the Methodist Church; and because those were the Apartheid days I was only exposed to the white part of the Methodist church.  I had seen a few 'Manyano' women at church - meeting at 3pm (time off for domestic servants on a Sunday afternoon).  Our church participated in something called a 'celebrate Jesus march'.  We jumped on the back of a truck and sang worship songs as we paraded through town to a large stadium.

We filed into the stadium.  The local megachurch had provided the biggest sound system available; with a band of the most skilled worship 'leaders'.  We filed in - church after church after church.  But there was still a lot of open space.

Last of all - women in red uniforms started to file in.  The local megachurch led a few well known choruses.  The women in red uniform (Manyano) kept on coming.  Until they had filled the other half of the stadium.

They did not know the songs that the megachurch knew.  The Manyano were quiet.  But eventually worship had to burst out of them.  I watched (and chuckled in pride) as the giant speakers and the praise band blared in frustration - totally drowned out by the hymns of the Manyano...  They did not have a chance.

And the Manyano had no worship leader.  No praise band.  Just several thousand hearts and voices overwhelming the stadium with songs I did not yet know.  And the deep pounding rhythm of 'bump bumps'.  The gentle sway of red and white.

Revelation 7 describes no worship leaders.  Just a multitude worshiping God in beautiful wholeness.  Angels falling on their faces before the throne.  With the grain of the universe.  The only spectacle is God himself.

I think most of us white Christians gave up and moved out on that day.  The worship was not according to our taste...

Practicing Worship

Simple Style (Revelation 7:10)

If we are practicing for heaven.  And trying to practice heaven.  We must ask whether our worship (and our worship events) reflect heaven.

Ancient churches focused in on the altar - the church's meal table.  The choir at the back - or in the front but facing perpendicular to the congregation rather than 'at' the congregation.  Choirs are quite a modern thing.

Nobody was worshiping the sacrament.  They were remembering Jesus' body... the lamb that was slain "For the lamb at the center before the throne will be their shepherd." - Rev 7:17  But the table where communion was to take place was a focal point.  With a cross on top of it.

Most hymns were simple and derived from the Psalms and Canticles (Hymns like Mary's song and various chants from Revelation) in scripture.  When organs and four part harmony were brought in it was very controversial - they were seen as too worldly and extravagant.

Simplicity forces us to focus our hearts and minds not on personalities or gimmicks - but solely on God.

Music is allowed to flow from the heart of the congregation; in unison.  Prayer that is sung; with the whole body.

Community (Revelation 7:9)

All of this means that every worshiper gets lost in the crowd.  Revelation 7:9 describes a vast crowd; all wearing white robes, from every language tribe and nation - no individual is picked out (and I imagine that among those thousands there are bishops, popes, presidents, prostitutes, Methodists, Catholics all lost in a crowd of equals before God.)

Can we as a church embrace this simple heavenly way of worshipping God?  Can we take the focus off the 'worship leaders' and the speakers, lights and AV stuff?  When we worship God can we ask ourselves honestly 'what pleases God' not 'what pleases me?'

And think that heavenly worship involves community.

When we pray 'On Earth as it is in Heaven' we should look at the body of Christ around us and wonder why this is not a "great multitude... from every nation, tribe, people and language..." - Rev 7:9

And then we should ask ourselves:  Why is my community mostly this or that language?  Why is it mostly this or that colour?  What can we do to change this?  We should ask:  Who is missing?  Why are there no geologists here?  Where have the doctors gone?  Why no rubbish collectors?  Where are the school teachers?  Where are the nurses?

My Favourite Smell

I have to confess, the smell that least offends me is the smell of my own feet.  But worship accompanied by lights, AV effects, that celebrates celebrities doesn't seem to be a good reflection of that which is in heaven.

I also must let you know that I stand up in front of church every Sunday and lead the singing with my guitar - accompanied by a band of singers and musicians.

I'm not sure how we could make them less conspicuous? Could we squash them to the side of the church?  What could we do?

And is it about whether the smell offends my nostrils?

Leading in another language...

This year as I wondered how to lead the covenant service in my church - especially in isiXhosa. I thought I should find someone to read the liturgy for me.  My bishop; in his wisdom challenged us at a meeting of ministers working in 'mixed culture' contexts. 

He said something to this effect:  'You white ministers that lead Xhosa societies; don't go getting other people in to lead the covenant, learn to do it yourselves!'

I was a bit cross with him for being so mean to us white ministers.  I had a vision of my pending embarrassment in front of my patient congregation.  I nearly called for back up at the last minute; but remembered that my ordained friends had their own barriers to cross that Sunday.  And I had to do what I was called to do.

So I stumbled through the Xhosa liturgy, embarrassed by my inability in front of this group that I am appointed to lead. It all went a lot better in my study at home as I spent hours carefully dissecting the script and practicing the tongue twisters and trippers.  But as usual, stumbling through the liturgy in front of the congregation it all fell apart.  As I laboured on I wished I could have heard through their ears.  Was I making any sense?  I hoped they had their prayer books open... just in case.

Embarrassed, I am filled with gratitude.  Sunday after Sunday I stumble through foreign words on the pages of my prayer book.  I'm getting better and better at saying them; I am quite sure I often say foolish things.  And I think how often Afrikaans, French, Korean, Xhoso, Sotho, Tswana people have been gracious enough to speak English as faulty as it may be so that I could understand.  

As an English person - in my arrogance, because of the legacy of empire I have not submitted to any other language.  I can speak and understand Afrikaans; but when I start - people who speak Afrikaans feel sorry for me and help me out.  I think I take advantage.

Is it only English people who get to hear their language injured by a foreign tongue? 

I now realize that hearing your language injured by a foreign tongue is actually a privilege.  A privilege enjoyed only by those in power.  Those important enough not to bother reaching their hands and ears across the void of intelligibility.

So I stumbled on - and afterwards thanked the congregation for their patience.  

Some people can't stand hearing their mother tongue so badly represented.  They move to greener pastures where Xhosa reigns.  I don't blame them.  I much prefer hearing my own language spoken; my whole neck gets stiff trying to say and sing strange words.  Cultural faux pas abound.  I spend my life worrying that what I've said or done may unwittingly offend someone.  And I'm quite sure that Satan will take advantage of every chink.

But then - I am a minister.  Ordained by the laying on of hands to 'represent'.  And I represent the church.  The church in its frailty; with its faltering, stammering attempt at communicating the Word of God to the world.  And though I stammer I still go.  And when I lead in a language difficult for me to pronounce I still represent the community of God in all its blackness, brownness, whiteness and greyness.  Often, not so well.

So thank you church for teaching me to cross language boundaries.  And thank you for the vulnerability inherent in doing so.  And I'll keep trying.  And together we'll bear with one another in love.

Gus

Become a Seed

Praying through my despondency
my loss of hope
waning courage.
As I watch the world around me in its brokenness.
And am painfully aware of my brokenness in it.
I hear a still small voice.
"...become a seed."
"You know what you must become,
you must become a seed."

A seed is nothing.
It lays in dusty dirt.  Powerless.
No self determination.

But, in God it becomes.

And that is all I need to know.

Night of Hell, Day of Heaven...

Some thoughts on the Christian Origin of Halloween...

This past All Saints / Halloween was especially interesting because Halloween was on a Saturday night and All Saints on Sunday morning.  The kids in my neighbourhood went to a lot of trouble to look as scary as they could; one of my neighbours even made a few fresh looking graves on his front garden.

Hell - depicted in a C21 reenactment C8 mystery play.

To tell you the truth it all gives me the creeps.  It is quite ghoulish - and a little bit scary.  But all of
this helped me to understand what the church of the past few centuries has tried to convey on Halloween and All Saints Day.  The contradiction between that which is Hellish and that which is Holy.

Dressing up as ghosts and wondering around the streets on Halloween is really meant to scare the 'hell out of you...'  Medieval mystery plays told moral stories and threatened the most severe and hellish punishments for those who did not choose to follow God and do what was good.  If you read Dante's inferno and listen to the descriptions of disembodied spirits suffering in torment in hell you'll get an idea of the kind of images that people used to scare people.

Graves - pumpkins carved to look like demented demons, people dressed as the walking dead - all of this designed to make you ask yourself - what is the condition of my soul?

I'm not a very hell fire and brimstone preacher.  The graves, the ghouls, the ghosts make me feel a bit uncomfortable - but it made me think about evil; about the death that results from our evil - and it made me look forward to church on Sunday morning.  From the night of terror to the dawn of all saints day - a presentation of the alternative...

Heaven

On all saints day I spoke of God's promised alternative to the horror of Halloween night.  I explained the halos in depictions of the saints - a graphic depiction of 2 Corinthians 3:18 -

"And all of us, with unveiled faces, seeing the glory of the Lord as though reflected in a mirror, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another; for this comes from the Lord, the Spirit."

Saints - or the 'sanctified' are those who have been completely transformed by the glory of God - who reflect the glory of God; the light of God - into the world.  Gold halos around their heads are meant to depict their reflection of God's glory.

The other passage that I thought was relevant is 1 John 4:17-21 a passage that invites you to examine your soul.  Verse 17-18 reminds us:  "We may have boldness on the day of judgment... There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."  The graves, the ghosts, the demons are meant to make you fear hell and worry about judgment - 1 John 4:17 reminds us that we need not fear all of this because in Christ we have been perfected:  "...as he is, so are we in this world." (Vs 17)  More simply translated (and interpreted) in the TNIV "...in this world we are like Jesus."

After all the angry, scary, ghouls and ghosts - to think of a world, a heaven, full of people who are full of love, light and joy - like Jesus; is a hopeful contradiction.

The problem is - All Saints Evening / All Hallow's Even / Halloween - went viral.  Frights and scary costumes are too much fun to resist; and so you get all sorts of things happening on Halloween... just like Christmas - there is not as much focus on faith as Christians would like.  But it might be a good idea to teach your children the Christian origin of Halloween.

The trick or treat part is symbolic of choosing heaven or hell.  Heaven is often depicted as a feast (cf Psalm 23 "You prepare a table for me..."; Isaiah 25:6 "...the LORD Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples...") this would be the 'treat' option; the trick on the other hand - is a terrible fright.  When children call out 'trick or treat' you get to give them a fright - or give them some sweets.  Next year I plan to lie under my car and grab people's legs as they go past...

Some Christians are very uncomfortable with Halloween - there is quite a lot of misinformation - and there are a lot of people who do unChristian things on Halloween; I don't blame people for avoiding it.  I think the death side of things - the graves, skeletons and skulls should help us to take a closer look at our fear of death.  And I think - Christians should take every opportunity to teach about hope and light; and should not be afraid of the darkness.